From Chaos to Surrender — A Painting Process in the Studio

For a long time, I used to make paintings within just a few hours.
Now, I can be working on several pieces at once, creating, looking, feeling.

Sometimes I am “in conversation” with a work, moving from chaos to surrender as the process unfolds.
This way of working, and how a painting slowly takes shape in the studio, is something I describe more in depth in how a painting develops in the studio.

The process has shifted from speed to something slower, layered, and less predictable.

Freedom in the Painting Process

What matters to me is that I keep feeling and seeing the essence from within myself.
That means I let myself be inspired by others, but I also need to return to myself.
From the air and space to explore, back to my own space.
There I find my own freedom.

And that freedom isn’t always pretty. Sometimes it’s messy, stubborn, or completely unclear. There are days when a canvas stares back at me like it’s calling me out on my own bullshit. I like that. I want my work to challenge me, to make me uncomfortable before it feels right.

The Shift in My Painting Process

I’ve learned to embrace the pauses, those moments when I don’t know what’s next. They used to scare me. Now I see them as part of the process, the deep breath before the next brushstroke. In that quiet, I often find the rawest ideas, the ones that have been hiding under the noise.

painting as surrender

Because painting, for me, is not about control. It’s about surrender. About trusting that what I feel in that moment is enough to put on the canvas, even if it doesn’t make sense yet. Especially if it doesn’t make sense yet.

When a Painting Becomes Alive

I think that’s the difference between making something decorative and making something alive. A pretty painting can hang on a wall forever without saying a word. But a real piece, a piece with soul, keeps talking to you, keeps pulling you back in, even years later. That’s the kind of work I want to make.